Venerable gadget-blogger and man-blogger extraordinaire Joel Johnson had a chance to put the fancy-schmancy Krups Heineken BeerTender through it’s paces. Even though he was forced to stomach Heineken to complete his challenge, he does get drunk in the process and (bonus!) gives himself a dapper new haircut. The video don’t lie…

You’d have to really love Heineken to throw down the $300 for something so specialized. If they ever opened it up so that you could use any mini-keg with it, it might be worth it in some way, but as is it seems pretty useless. Funny video though.

via:: BoingBoing Gadgets

Whoa…so uhmm…those storms sucked pretty bad, didn’t they? Whoever thought that a tornado would rip right through the middle of downtown Atlanta? Crazy stuff.

Well you know me, the first thing I thought of was “Holy crap! I won’t be able to make it out to the bars!”* Luckily I remembered a little concoction I’d come across when some storms hit last year (though nowhere near as bad) that were the perfect remedy to tide me over until I could get back in the game. And as I hear we might get hit again soon, I figured I’d pass this along so you could stock up in case of emergency (if you need to make room throw out milk, bread, bottled water, canned goods and all other non-essentials). I give you Bermuda’s own Dark and Stormy:

Dark and Stormy

2oz Gosling’s Black Seal Rum

6-8oz Ginger Beer

Lime to garnish (optional)

Pour rum over ice in a highball glass, top with ginger beer. Garnish with lime if desired.

And no, ginger beer is NOT the same as ginger ale, any respectable liquor store will sell it. It’s a delicious beverage, the Gosling’s rum in particular giving it a complexity not often found in most rums. I highly recommend enjoying the beverage on a covered porch in the middle of a downpour, imagining yourself the captain of the USS Rummy trying to make it safely to the port of Boozelton, Jamaica. Knowing you’re the only one with the know-how (not to mention the balls) to pilot her through these treacherous waters to safety, and ultimately…inebriation.

Safe sailing, my friends.

*RIGHT after I thought “Oh I hope my friends and loved ones are okay!” I swear.

Just in time for St. Patty’s comes fantastic news for all of us. A study done by Göttingen University in Germany revealed that beer drinkers have bigger brains than those who drink other booze (wine in particular). So drink your Guinness and Smithwicks secure in the knowledge that after all is said and done, you’ll be that much smarter than those snobs in Napa Valley. Take that, wine-only drinking jerks!

In all truthfulness, I knew this revelation would some day come to light. While some recoiled in horror at my mother’s controversial method of a diet of 50% lager and 50% stout for us kids, they were even more shocked to see us all placed in accelerated and honors programs at a very early age. Of course, copping Oxycontin and Dilaudid habits the size of Lake Michigan by the age of 9 to deal with the constant hangovers wasn’t easy for any of us, but it was the price to pay for our hops-fueled genius.

Maybe they’ll let her out of jail now.

via:: Dethroner

If you’re drinking downtown anytime soon and thinking of getting into some tomfoolery, you best watch your ass. Seems that Rufus Terrill, proprietor of the Atlanta bar O’Terrill’s didn’t cotton to some of the roustabouts and ne’er-do-wells lingering around outside his establishment, so he took matters into his own hands. He’s constructed a guard robot out of an old smoker, spotlight, IR camera, loudspeaker, water cannon, and a dash of vigilante ingenuity. His contraption, dubbed the “Bum Bot”, recently took out noted bum and radio personality Southside Steve (of the Regular Guys morning show). Nothing like watching a man get hosed down in the middle of the street for no good reason!

via:: Information Week

This being the internets, there are many many dubious products that I see every day and just don’t understand why anyone would ever buy them, or who honestly thought they could make money off of whatever it is they’re selling (I mean iPhone? Really? Is anyone actually buying these things?). I certainly have plenty of single-purpose doo-dads and whatsits cluttering my desk (and car and office and house and pockets) that I never thought I’d use or need, but turned out they’ve integrated quite nicely into my life.

That said, I’m on the fence about the Lime Bomber, a new product designed to create high-powered military-grade explosives out of ordinary household citrus. Hmm…that can’t be it. Ok, looks like the website says that it’s meant to…wait…really? Put a lime in a beer? That’s it? Oh wait, I see here that they say you could also use it to put an orange in your other beers, or possibly even a lemon in your water.

Maybe it’s just me, since I’m not a Corona drinker (and I rarely see Sol sold around here), so perhaps I’ve misunderstood the plight of the Mexican-style beer drinker. I have plenty of friends who are, but I can’t recall seeing any of them in any sort of prolonged struggle to deal with the task of inserting a wedge of lime into their beers. I’ve also noticed many of them sticking a thumb in the top after and turning said beer upside-down to make sure the lime flavor was properly sloshed around, but it doesn’t look like the Lime Bomber has any features to deal with that though (for example, a lime insertion implement that pushes the lime all the way to the bottom of the bottle). So…it looks like it only halfway does the job you never really needed it to do in the first place.

So I take it back, I’m not on the fence at all, this seems like a largely useless product. I’m all for innovations and creative thinking when it comes to booze and new ways to get it in me faster/better/sexier, but I can’t see how this product solves a problem or fulfills a need for pretty much anyone. The one thing I CAN appreciate about their site is that their little cartoony flash animation plays “You Dropped a Bomb On Me” by The Gap Band in the background. If only their product was equally as satisfying.

What do you guys think? Anyone think they’d use this on a regular basis? If so, let us know in the comments.

via:: Uncrate

We have to admit, we love us some beer pong. Sure it’s an essentially stupid, frat-boy-esque “sport”, and yes it’s bound to load us up with more disgusting bacteria than we’re able to count but dadgummit, it’s earned a place in our frosty 1/4-filled Solo©-cupped hearts. It’s got just enough skill and more than enough crappy beer to make us lifelong fans. So when we first came across Pong-a-Long’s 33 Best Beer Pong Tables, our battered and damaged livers did a little jump for joy. Not just because we admire the creativity and exquisite craftsmanship that went into pretty much every table featured here, but because the “Ninjas vs. Pirates” table featured at #25 was designed and created by two of your very own DrinkPlanner staff members. It pretty much made our weeks to see it there.

That’s right, we’re not just alcoholic writers, we’re the friggin’ Presidents of this BITCH. We also dominated at the Beer Olympics at Run Around Sue’s last year, in case you want to further check our credentials. We are, in fact, the real deal.