2008
Ask DrinkPlanner is a reoccurring feature here where readers submit their questions, and the crack team at DrinkPlanner does our best to answer. Got a question about booze? Ask us!
Hey now! What’s that ya say?
“DrinkPlanner,
I heard that eating protein before you drink alcohol will increase your alcohol tolerance… How effective is it and are there other ways to increase my alcohol tolerance so I am not the first to pass out a party (and end up with [genitals] and [dangly genitals] drawn in marker all over my face)?
Thanks,
Always First to Fall”
Alcohol tolerance is a funny thing. Some are blessed with an abundance of it. Others earn it drink by drink. Then there are those, such as yourself, who have been cursed with a low tolerance to alcohol. Even worse, some people are actually allergic to it. Poor bastards.
There are a few things you can do, some long term, and others that you can do in preparation shortly before you git to partyin’. Let’s look at the short term ones first.
1. Eat a Big Meal With Lots of Protein, Fats, and Carbs – You heard right mon frère ivrogne, protein helps. But do yourself a favor and choose something that’s low-salt as well, as high-salt content foods will dehydrate you and work against you. These foods all slow the absorption of alcohol into the bloodstream and slow the drunkening process. You can also supplement throughout the night, eating nuts or other high protein foods. It’s only delaying your body absorbing the alcohol though, not stopping it. Word to the wise…this is not the time to try lots of new foods that your body may not be used to. Keep it simple.
Yep, just let the eyes roll back in your head and keep chompin’, Junior
2. Drink a Glass of Milk – Drinking a glass of milk will coat your stomach, again slowing the process down some and giving your body more time to absorb the alcohol instead of getting slammed with it all at once. Some people think this is a bad idea, that it will somehow “curdle” in your stomach as you drink other things throughout the night, but I say hogwash. As long as you don’t do it immediately before you start drinking, you should be fine. Unless you’re lactose intolerant, and then you’re an idiot for listening to this anyway.
3. Drink Water Between Drinks – You can decide your own pacing, but the more water you drink the more diluted the alcohol will be, and the impact of what you’re drinking will be lessened. It all depends on your current tolerance, but one glass of water to every one or two drinky-drinks you have should be plenty for most people. Yes, you will have to pee more, but that’s the price you pay to not wake up duct-taped to the ceiling with all of your body hair missing (Oh wait there it is, it’s stuffed in your mouth. All of it).
I don’t think that’s the right shade of lipstick for his skin type
Now that you’ve got the pre-game situation locked down, let’s look at some long-term strategy…
1. Drink Regularly – As much as everyday, if you’re up for it. We’ve all heard about the reports that drinking can be good for you, so do it already! They say men who drink 1-2 alcoholic beverages a day, and women who drink 1 a day can benefit in many ways, from better heart-health to gallstones, booze is looking out for you. If you build up a good tolerance to drinking 1-2 drinks a day (or take that liver out for a spin, crank it up to 3-4 and see what she can really do), it won’t be such a shock to your system when you go out and party. This is the one sure-fire way to boost your tolerance if you stick with it.
2. Get Fatter – Seriously. Bigger people generally have bigger livers (the better to produce enzymes to break down alcohol with, my dear). They also have more ahhh…”real estate” for the alcohol to run its course through. More body = more blood for the alcohol to take a swim in. Certainly, there are plenty of other health risks if you increase your bodyweight to the point of being overweight or obese, but that’s up to you. You asked, so I’m telling you.
A final note on this: once you’re drunk, you’re drunk. Only time and water will help you at that point. Food won’t help, because the alcohol is already absorbed into your system. Caffeine will not help you, it will make you feel more alert, but you will most certainly still be drunk, so don’t think you can drink some coffee or chug a Red Bull and then drive home. Just sit tight, drink water, piss it out, repeat and eventually the booze will work its way through your system.
Or you can pass out on the couch, and take your chances…
That’s all for this week! Got a question about drinking? Ask DrinkPlanner!
7 Responses to “Ask DrinkPlanner: How to Increase Alcohol Tolerance”
Leave a Reply
- Categories
- Ask DrinkPlanner
- Atlanta
- Booze Blog Roundup
- Booze Business
- Booze Tunes
- Boozer Loser
- Bottle Shots
- Champions of Drinking
- DP Exclusive
- DP Shirt Shop
- Drinking Accessories
- Drinking Event
- Drinking Music
- Drinking Sports
- Drinking Tools
- Events
- Featured Drink Spot
- General Drankin'
- How To Drink
- man drankin'
- Mixoloseum
- Recipes
- Reviews
- Unboxing
- Uncategorized
- videos
- Atlanta Snuggie Pub Crawl
- Burger King to Sell Beer in South Beach
- Good Advice
- Kahlua Coffee Cream TDN Video
- You Give Boozing A Bad Name
- Showdown: Chivas 18 vs. Johnnie Walker Blue
- Craft Beer, Free Music, GET SOME!
- Bottle Shots: Polka Dot Riesling
- God Watches Over The Drunkards
- DrinkPlanner’s Know Your Boozer
[...] if ripping a page from our headlines, T-Shirt Hell’s new shirt (above) is here to save all you lightweights out [...]
not all of us asian indians are bright but if there’s one thing we learned in college…its how to drink. i’m 24 and started drinking hardcore when i was 19. i’ve learned from some of the best. to increase your tolerance (and the level of fun you’ll have out on a friday night) i suggest 1) get 7 to 9 hours of sleep the night before 2) try to drink 3 to 5 glasses of water during the day of 3) have a greasy drippy pepperoni calzone and one of those yogurt smoothie things by dannon exactly 1.5 hours before heading out 4) after every 3 drinks, have a TALL glass of water 5) an hour before you’re going home, switch to beer 6) a regular sized glass of water, a hot pocket and two advil liqui-gels to insure you’ll be able to do it all over again saturday night.
or you could just drink? instead of doing some stupid routine like the guy above said, makes you look liek a bit of a twat!
just eat something before…
Well specific to the question caffeine would help, as it would prevent your brain from shutting down completely. (IE passing out) It would also keep you more alert and more active; both act to keep your brain going, and you awake still able to defend against rogue sharpies.
hey i just wanted to point out that instead of getting fatter its better to get more muscle. because muscle tissue absorbs more alcohol then fat tissue. i learned this in drivers ed but u can also look it up on google
Damn I always pass out during the first several rounds. Maybe This could help?
the shit that the indian dude said sounds good, that shit aint for twats it’s a good fuckin idea. dont advertise it, just do it in your own time, if you’re worried about lookin like a pussy then just chill the fuck out, most people don’t care if you drink water between every few drinks, and even if they did it’s a hell of alot better to be known as being slightly safe than being the guy/girl who acts like a dumbass at the party. i lived in belgium from when i was 9 to 18 (just moved somewhere in the US, but it dont matter where) and i started drinking when i was about 14. The routine that has worked for the most is as follows:
1. Drink beer on friday afternoon until feeling buzzed, usually 4 Delirium Tremens for me, and then eat while the buzz wears off.
2. Go part a while after the buzz wears off, i recommend an hour or 2 later.
3. Wank before leaving home or friends house, it calms you down to get some testoserone out of your system. I don’t really know how if that works for girls but go ahead and give the ol’ clapper a rub down just for the hell of it.
4. Fuck mixed drinks. If you’re a guy then u just dont need to touch shit like pina coladas and that. Be a fuckin man and drink a beer, whiskey, rum, gin or whatever. Mixing crap like koolaid or artificial drink mixers will mess up your stomach, my worst party night was last summer when i drank a bunch of pina coladas (me and my boi were drinking with some girls and thats all they had) and i ended up hurling into the toilet, taking a shower, falling asleep naked on the toilet and being woken up by this scary fuckin fat bitch who was tryin to wack me off-it freaked the shit out me. stuff like gin and tonics, whiskey soda, vodka redbull, martinis etc. are cool but i dont recommend anything with artificial shit.
5. okay number 4 was extremely ling winded, and number 6 is the most important so i’ll rush through this. DON’T SMOKE WHILE YOU DRINK. it will fuck your shit up, smoking cigarettes will make you feel sick and weed will get you really fucked up. i dont know what crack will do but i doubt it would be mild.
6. THE GOLDEN RULE:
S.M.O.K.E. W.E.E.D. T.O. K.E.E.P. A.W.A.Y. T.H.E. H.A.N.G.O.V.E.R.
smoke weed the following morning or afternoon (whenever u wake up) and you will feel soooooo much better. once i was home alone for a few days in the summer and all of my friends were on vacation, so i walked to the store and bought a bottle of jack daniels, a bottle of smirnoff vodka, a bottle of bacardi gold and a bunch of cider and beer. I drank 5 shots of vodka, 4 jack daniels and cokes, 5 beers and sipped down 3 low ball glasses of straight rum. I WAS SO FUCKED UP. so the next morning when my joints ached, my head felt like it got slammed into the floor by rosie o’donnel and everything else was generally fucked up i just smoked a joint of buddha/OG kush and i felt soooooooo good.
ALL MATERIAL IN THIS POST IS FICTIONAL AND MEANT TO BE TAKEN HUMOROUSLY. I DO NOT CONDONE OR USE ILLEGAL DRUGS.