A lovely thing showed up in my mail this week…my very own Drinking Deck!  The Drinking Decks crew was kind enough to send a review deck to DP HQ for rigorous testing and evaluation.  Personally, I think they look great.  But don’t take my word for it, check ‘em out in the video!

I apologize for the focus issues, but the glare from the light was throwing the camera off I guess.

Naturally, this is not the end of it…I need to put them to use!  So as soon as I can get some folks together for a good old-fashioned drinking game, I’ll do my full write-up and review.

So sit tight…or if you’re just too antsy in your pantsies, go and get your own right here.

Welcome to the very first installment of Bottle Shots, where I drink some beer, wine, or liquor and tell you what I think of it, and if I think you should drink it.  Easy enough, right? I’ve got a variety of things I’ve been aching to try out, so let’s get crackin’.

So for our first installment, I’ve selected Wild Turkey American Honey.

The Lowdown: WTAH (as I will be calling it for the remainder of this review) is a liqueur made from bourbon and honey.  From what I can tell (because it’s not featured on the Wild Turkey website, strangely) it’s meant to either be sipped slowly after-dinner drink style (like cognac or Irish Mist or Licor 43) or possibly shot, Jaeger-style.  I opted for slow-sippin’, as I figured that would give me an idea as to how it would work as a shot if I ever wanted to drink it that way.

The Whiff: –A brief aside:  Smell is very important to tasting.  70-75% percent of what we perceive as taste actually comes from smell.  Hence, THE WHIFF.–

Strong alcohol smell.  Not even bourbon, but just a general alcohol sting.  I only barely get a hint of honey on the back end of a big long sniffy-sniff.  Bourbon is nowhere to be found in the nose, which is very interesting.  Honestly, it makes me a little apprehensive, but this is for science damnit, and I must solider on.

The Taste: HONEY, all day long.  The bourbon is definitely there, but any alcohol sting I anticipated from the smell has been knocked unconscious, beaten within an inch of its life and left for dead in an abandoned washing machine factory by the hypnotic honey flavors found within.  You would never, never-ever need to mix this to make it drinkable for a newbie, it’s very sweet, and just barely avoids being cloying.

It’s definitely a pure sweetness, it’s like Wild Turkey found that one really hot girl you knew in high school who was waaaaaaay out of your league but for some reason was really cool and actually talked to you and laughed at your lame Pokemon jokes* and didn’t care that you had seen The Matrix 37 times (in the theater, no less!) and you knew there was no way a girl like that should be talking to you in public, but she was, and they captured her and knocked her out with chloroform and systematically (but humanely) boiled her down to her basic genuinely sweet and caring nature and then poured her life essence into a bottle of bourbon, and branded it Wild Turkey American Honey.  Can you believe that was only one sentence?  THAT. JUST. HAPPENED.

The Mix: As I said earlier, you’d never need to mix this.  However, I’m sure there are drinks you could use this in to give it a hint of honey if you wanted.  I happened to have a glass of bourbon already poured nearby (surprise!) and poured a little bit of what I had left of the WTAH in it, and it definitely sweetened it up.  It would probably be great to add to some bourbon if you were first introducing it to someone and they were nervous about drinking alcohol straight.  Bourbon is typically sweeter than most whiskeys to begin with, but I also know most people are big babies when it comes to drinking booze without a mixer, so this could certainly ease their anticipated pain.  It’d be a fantastic way to ween someone into the mysterious and beautiful ways of all things Whiskey.  Maybe even your mom!**

Would you drink it again? Most def.  While not as complex as many after-dinner type drinks, there’s nothing wrong with it per se, and I can’t see myself turning down a glass if it were offered (and yes, that does actually happen from time to time).  It’s got that thing that all worthwhile after-dinner drinks have, where it instantly warms you from the inside out, from the very first sip.  It walks that fine line of soothing alcohol warmth and delicious taste.

Would you recommend it to someone else? Yes, provided they have a sweet-tooth.  For people who prefer bitter, sour, or salty drinks…this just isn’t for them.  If you don’t like sweet, you won’t like this drink.

Overall Score: 87 out of 100

So there you have it.  More thrilling and life-changing installments to follow.  Would you like us to review your drink?  Email us!

*Are there any non-lame Pokemon jokes?  I mean really, how old are you?

**Just kidding, I’ve already got your mom drinking whiskey.  Out of my palm. Creepy, right?

Yes, we tested it. First, the Field Tests, then the in-depth Analysis.

Well we decided we needed someplace to test out the Bierstick. None of our friends were having any house parties anytime soon, and the Bierstick was begging to be broken in, so we decided to venture out to Bullfrogz to make our own party.

And whaddya know, our friends from Anheuser-Busch were in the house promoting Bud Select. Could this be fate? They even had their smokin’-hot Agent 99 girls (because Bud Select is only 99 calories, who knew?) circulating and generally setting the place ablaze. Observe:

NOT your best effort, DP staff photographer. Still, the sultry Agent 99 girls (in the garish orange jackets and short-shorts, DUH) shine through.

So we figured this must be serendipity in action, God himself smiling upon us and our endeavor. So we made the rounds, chatted up the folks at the bar and the staff (and the Agent 99 girls, of course) and soon found ourselves some willing participants. The bar was so hyped about it though, they wanted to do it as a race: 1 Bottled Beer vs. the Bierstick. How could we say no? So we purchased a pitcher of Bud Select and filled it up. Here’s what happened when the two went head-to-head:

Did you expect anything different? It should be noted that the guy with the beer bottle had a straw poking out if his bottle to let the air escape faster, so he could pound it even quicker. It should ALSO be noted that the first time we tried this, the cap of the Bierstick popped right off, and dumped the beer on the floor. Lesson learned? Hold on to the cap.

But was that enough for the Bullfrogz crowd? Oh HELL no. They’d just seen their old buddy Bottled Beer get it’s ass kicked by some punk kid by the name of Bierstick. So they proposed a new challenge: Bierstick vs. Draft Beer. Free of the constraints of a bottle, free-flowing Draft Beer actually had a chance at outpacing this young upstart. We still had over half a pitcher left, so we said “Hell yes!” and set it up. Seriously, none of the racing was our idea, but it was a brilliant move collectively by the bar patrons. Anyway, the following ensued:

Yep, yet again the Bierstick came out ahead by a pretty decent margin. Really, it was no contest. The only challenge left was to do the full-on two beer challenge. Sadly, we couldn’t find anyone willing to do it. And you can see in the video how crowded the bar was, we still had no takers. I’m tellin’ ya, binge drinking just isn’t what it used to be.

Analysis:

So for the most part, the Bierstick performed as expected, I’ve never seen anything slam a beer faster, including funnels. Funnels are using gravity to drop the beer down your throat, but the Bierstick uses your own weight to shove it down your gullet as fast as possible. With the exception of the top popping off that one time and some issues I had getting the rubber rings to stay in their grooves before-hand, it’s pretty much a flawless execution (just watch for air at the top, unless you want to burp all night long). It does what it’s supposed to do: Help you drink beer really fast. I predict that the Bierstick will someday soon overtake the funnel and shotgunning as the preferred method of chugging beer. Everyone in the bar was crazy about it, asking where they could get one (even the Agent 99 girls were asking me about it and were talking about it to other drinkers in the bar).

Speed drinking isn’t really my thing (I just can’t consume that fast, nor do I like to) but I can’t fault the Bierstick for that, it performs as advertised. So what’s my conclusion?

Highly Recommended (if speed drinking is your thing)

Bierstick (tell ‘em DrinkPlanner sent ya!)