I’m not entirely sure what to make of this. In the following video, you will be pitched a new quadruple-distilled vodka by venerable comedic actor Dan Aykroyd, of Ghostbusters, Blues Brothers, and Saturday Night Live fame. A vodka that, for some reason, is inside a crystal skull.
It’s hard to tell what came first in the concept pitch. Was it:
1. “Hey guys, remember the colossal failure of the latest Indiana Jones movie? I think we’ll all agree the only silver lining in that soul-crushing disaster was it turned people on to crystal skulls. Seriously, the kids are going nuts for ‘em, I can’t get my kids to shut up about CRYSTAL SKULLS! So I figure..WE should make ‘em! We’ll figure out what to put in them later. They’ll sell like hotcakes!”
2. “You know what there isn’t too much of in the alcohol marketplace? VODKA. The roughly 5000 varieties available at most liquor stores of a generally flavorless spirit just isn’t enough. The kids these days want MORE! But how to creatively package it? Someone’s already done the tommy gun bottle and the pirate steering wheel…we’ve got to think of something new. Hey, did anyone see that new Indiana Jones movie?”
The world may never know the true origins of Crystal Head vodka, but thank God it’s here*.
*Is it weird that I secretly want one?