Filed under the category of “one of a handful of alcohol-based products I’ll probably never use” is Whipped Lightning aka whipahol, which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like: whipped cream infused with the unbridled fury of nature’s electricity alcohol.
Weighing in at 36 proof, which is higher than I’d expect, the whipped drink topping will initially be offered in four different flavors: Amaretto, Cinnamon, Macadamia, and Orange. Aimed to float atop the multi-colored drinks of middle-aged divorcees and elementary school teachers on their biannual Girls Night Out* it should be entering the market at around $10 a canister in Florida and Tennessee.
Honestly I think they’re marketing it all wrong. They should really be aiming this at adult stores and soft-core crap-peddlers like Spencer’s Gifts (those still exist, right?). I mean, think about putting a drink that uses this on your menu, what is it going to say? “Sex on the Beach…oh, but it also has this alcohol-infused whipped cream on top that makes it better (Sexier on the Beach?) which is why we are charging $2 more for it”? OR do you stick it on a shelf at the local smutvendor where someone walks by, sees whipped cream… flavors… alcohol… “Yup, I’d lick this” and BOOM, a lifelong customer is born. It’s a no-brainer.