Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and if you’re anything like me you’ll celebrate it like you do every year: piss-drunk, weeping uncontrollably while stuffing your face with mini-cheesecakes and antidepressants in the rollerskating rink where your 8th grade formal dance was (Just me? Really? More Zoloft for me then!). Either that or you’ll spend the better part of your evening on this site. Those are your only choices. Sorry guys, I don’t make the rules.
Either way, you’re going to need a new sobbing shirt, right?* So we’re offering a super-duper special on all the shirts in the DrinkPlanner Shirt Shop. If you use code “FEB19” between now and February 11th, we’ll take 14% off any order of $25 or more. In the industry, this is what we call a “sweet deal” and “something you should take advantage of” and if you don’t, you’re a “dick“. Sorry if I confused you with all that complicated insider jargon, but I don’t know any other way to say it. BUY SHIRTS
*Last year’s sobbing shirt is beyond repair, the cleaner said there was no way to remove that much gravy and “pure desperation” (his words) without ruining it