I know it’s a bit early in the day, but screw it, it’s never too early to raise a finger to the man with one hand and raise a glass to your lips with the other.
1. You’ve already watched every video on YouTube
2. Nothing in the break room is made by Jose Cuervo
3. You’ve already emptied your flask and don’t want to lose your buzz
4. Because all of your friends are unemployed and at the bar already
5. All of history’s great guitar players were notorious drunks, so shouldn’t you be one when you play Guitar Hero?
6. Because you strongly believe that EVERY hour should be Happy Hour
7. You’ve got to pregame for bar trivia, because you’ll be damned if you’re going to be beaten by the “Sassy Secretaries” again
8. You need something to talk about at your next AA meeting
9. You’ve been looking for a slow time to hit on that bartender
10. Because it’s Tuesday