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Le Tourment Vert Hired Some Morons

August 21, 2017 by Drink Planner

The thing is, Cashmere, I’m already inside your head.  I know how you schmucks work, and that you guys are going to try to spin this as not only a bunch of free press for your client, but for yourselves, and Oh Ho, you’re So Crafty, tricking The Blogs into Writing About Your Client.  Problem is, people have brains…and dadgummit, they use them.  They’ll realize that you actually aren’t so swift at marketing because we’ve all uncovered the fact that you’re not “savvy” or “innovative” but more like “behind the times” and “incompetent” and “web retarded”.  Oh snap, did I link your site to those words? WHOOPS.  I don’t have a PhD in Internets or anything, but you couldn’t even keep up with the most basic of website tools, which is a pretty piss-poor way to do your job.  The fact that every Google search for “Le Tourment Vert” is going to come up with some very harsh wording near it is the exact opposite of what you want for your client.  Oopsie, you got some incompetence on your shoes.  Well…more like a metric ton of it, but whatever.

Le Tourment Vert, I’m not exactly pissed at you.  But you’ve made a horrible choice in PR firms and at the moment, they are running your brand through the frigging DIRT.  But it’s not irreversible.  You can still do the right thing.  If I were you, I’d dump these 3rd rate bush-league HUMPS before they do any more serious damage to your brand.  You’re in a brand new and very competitive market in the US, and dealing with a bunch of jokers like Cashmere is REALLY going to sully your reputation.

Cashmere Agency. The Worst.

*UPDATE* Looks like this isn’t the first time Cashmere has tried this strategy.  Apparently they got caught by celebrity gossip blog Cele|bitchy for spam-commenting posts about some horrible shows they were promoting.  CLASS ACT.

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