Hey guys, you know Diddy, right? I mean Diddy the mixologist, not the one-time-backup-dancer-for-Heavy-D-turned-incredible-(but-now-boring) producer. You know the one? You know the one. Well you know how everyone has been working hard to make some really great drinks for the whole world to enjoy, right? Well Diddy has outdone us ALL. No jokez, no LOLz. Quality ingredients, superior technique, professional bartendering…all part of the process of making great drinks, am I right? Puff Daddy P. Diddy P. Twitty Diddy* shows us how!
Perfect! Just get a bartender to pour unmeasured amounts of Ciroc vodka (AKA “The Vodka Rappers Won’t Shut Up About!”) and unspecified lemonade and you’ve got a bonafide mixology CLASSIC ready to pour down your gullet. Forget the Manhattan. Forget the Old Fashioned. The DIDDY is here to blow your FRIGGING MIND out the back of your delicate skull and wait there on the hot pavement until you pick it up and mix it a “Classic DIDDY”. But wait, there’s more in Diddy’s soggy bag of hap-hazard mixology tricks! Ladies and gentlemen, the O.G. DIDDY!:
Oh DAYUM you guys, did you see that SHAKE? So professional! The (again) unmeasured portions let you know that this is not only a top-shelf drink, but one that’s been carefully crafted and prepared by possibly the best bartender to half-heartedly shake a cobbler and smirk like an asshole EVER. Seriously, it’s a good thing that’s the bartender a multi-millionaire keeps on staff at all times, because he’s so inventive and GOOD AT HIS JOB, right? And where to get this rare and high-quality ingredient, “Welch’s Grape Juice”? ”Only the OGs know“, so I guess we’re lost, right? Anyone have a hook-up? I’m not sure I know any OGs, but I’ll look in the phonebook and see. Under “O”. Errr… maybe “G”?***
via :: JTB
*Is it still hilarious to make fun of his names? Of course it is. It’s 1999 still, right?
**No lie, I kind of LOVE the Curb Your Enthusiasm-esque music in the background of these. I know Diddy’s got a sense of humor.
***Second most hilarious joke of 1999. Of course you’ve never heard it before, it’s BRAND NEW.